


Redemption

by CalciferCai (orphan_account)



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Frosthawk - Freeform, Loki is kind of sensitive, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, events of Thor will be mentioned, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-23 16:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/CalciferCai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events in New York, Loki and Clint find their bond is still intact and more complicated than they originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a gift fic posted here: http://asocialdevice.tumblr.com/post/33482980213/agent257-clint-may-have-been-the-one-that-was

Clint may have been the one that was being controlled, but that didn't mean that Loki hadn't felt as if he was under a spell too. He fell for the archer as the man worshiped him. He wanted the true Clint Barton though. Not the one that praised him with vibrant blue eyes. He wanted attitude and roughness, not the mindless subjugation he had at the moment.

 

His heart ached the instant that Hawkeye was taken from him, as soon as the woman re-calibrated the archer's mind. Of course, he refused to let the emotion show.

 

In New York, he smiled as he caught ~~_his_~~ the hawk's arrow, taunting the man with a smile that screamed _I know you far more than you think I do and you're predictable_. Of course, he hadn't expected the arrow to detonate; he didn't even know that ~~Clint~~ Hawkeye had brought the explosive arrows with him. As he flew through the air, trying to steady himself, Loki thought, _Perhaps this is why I want him; not many could accomplish that feat._

 

He failed. He knew it was coming as soon as that arrow took him by surprise. He recgonized that he was in over his head, but he refused to back down. He'd be damned if he surrendered to them so quickly.

 

In the end, he did, and he was returned to Asgard where he was locked away faster than you could say, "Loki's an asshole." Odin stripped him of his magic, and he stayed locked away for months, cursing and breaking everything he could touch. After those initial months, he quieted, recognizing the fact that there was no one that would possibly listen or free him.

 

After more months of quiet solitude, he had built up a tiny bit of magic, allowing himself to spy on others from his cavern. He watched with disgust as Thor courted Jane, Odin threw feasts for Asgard, and the Jotun continued what he viewed as their disgusting primitive ways.

 

He grew bored of watching these scenes day after day and soon turned his attention to the Avengers. After all, he wanted revenge for them humiliating him. He focused, of course, on Barton, spying on him as he practiced shooting in the sparring room, or curling up with the Widow to watch a movie with the truest smile Loki had ever seen on his face.

 

There was a pang in heart and he stopped his magic, no longer wanting to watch what he knew he would never have. He decided to build up more of his magic, to plot an escape. He'd find another planet, another race to conquer. He'd become king someday.

 

Of course, things never go quite according to plan. He still found himself watching the Midgardian archer at times, learning more about the man with delight. Whenever he caught himself doing this, he would curse at himself and shut off his magic. There was no point in studying the human. He had no desire to go to Earth again, no desire to tangle with the Avengers. He. Would. Not. Go. There. Not even for the archer. He swore to himself that he'd avoid it at all costs.

 

The mental argument became moot because soon he saw his archer hurt in battle. He was surrounded and almost out of arrows as the men descended upon him. There were eight of them, and though Clint was stronger and quicker, there was no way he could avoid all of them.

 

They sliced at him, jabbing swords at his chest and abdomen and arms as he covered his head and attempted to roll out away from them. It was no use; he was trapped. Loki's heart pounded faster and harder as he watched them tear at his archer, convinced that he'd never see the archer again.

 

As fate would have it, Clint Barton would not die that day. Thor flew at the men, tackling two of them as Mjolnir hit three. Loki's heart sprung; hope. He'd never thought he'd be so glad to see Thor again.

 

Together, Thor and Hawkeye fought off the men, leaving some unconscious and most dead. The Midgardian was bleeding a lot so instead of allowing the man to continue to battle, Thor heaved him over his shoulder and flew him to the SHIELD med team, far from the lines of battle.

 

Satisfied with knowing Clint would live, but still shaken, Loki shut off his magic and decided to visit the man. Not in person, no; he didn't have enough energy and magic for that yet, but a hologram. He would wait until Barton was taken to the medical bay in SHIELD's headquarters which would be perhaps a day from then.

 

The next morning (at least it was on Earth; Loki had no idea what time it was on Asgard anymore), Loki spied on the man again. Sure enough, he was in a small room, his bandages exposed to Loki's vision. He smiled softly before he shut the portal down and made himself presentable. Then, sitting on the cold, hard floor he concentrated on visualizing himself where Hawkeye was.

 

"They're definitely giving me something heavy if I'm imagining you." Barton's voice greeted him with suspicion. He opened his eyes and blinked at the light in the room; it was bright and the place smelled of disinfectant.

 

"You're not imagining this, Barton." He said, careful to keep his tone gentle as he approached the bed.

 

"Fuck." Barton muttered, shifting into as much of a defensive stance as he could. "Why the hell are you here?"

 

"Relax. I'm just a projection; I'm still locked away deep in Asgard. I can't even touch you." He demonstrated by trying to lay his hand on the bed. Instead his hand went straight through it.

 

"That still doesn't explain why you're here." He had relaxed but his eyes and tone were still guarded, and Loki could swear that the human was going to yell for Thor soon.

 

"I..." There was no easy way to say it. "I've been watching you. I feared for you when I saw you fall yesterday." He said weakly. He hoped the archer would understand.

 

Clint's eyebrow twitched at the confession; surprise taking over him. "You were afraid I'd die." Loki nodded quickly and shamefully. Gods, this was horrible. Why had he wanted to do this? "So you decided to come check on me instead of just spying on me." He nodded again. "You do realize that I tried to kill you, right? I legitimately tried to put an arrow in your eye." He wouldn't mention how fucking terrified he'd been when he'd seen that look on Loki's face. He couldn't remember everything he'd told the demi-god, but apparently they'd talked a _lot_.

 

"I do remember that, Barton-"

 

"It's Hawkeye." Loki's heart sank a bit. This was going horrendously.

 

"I do remember, Hawkeye." He started again, walking around the small room. "But that hasn't seemed to stop my emotions." Oh fuck, this was stupid. Loki was tempted to just cut off the hologram and spend the rest of eternity in his cave. This was a tremendously stupid idea and he had no idea why he'd insisted on doing it.

 

"You like me." Well, at least Bar-Hawkeye was keeping his expression blank and his voice level. The Jotun supposed that was better than having the man of his desires scream at him.

 

"Yes." He answered feebly, biting his lip. His pulse was rising, he could nearly feel himself blushing under the Midgardian's stare. His voice rose as he continued, "Yes, I do. And I want to tell you how sor-"

 

"I hate you." Clint cut him off. The three small words were venom-dipped arrows that he fired off, each of them hitting Loki in the heart. "I will never care for you." More arrows, all hitting home. The demi-god let out a pained but silent gasp, his eyes watering. He wouldn't let the tears fall.

 

"I-I see." He straightened up, refusing to put up with this situation any longer. "Farewell, Cl-Hawkeye." He corrected himself, cursing internally. "I'm glad you survived."

 

With that, he awoke in the cavern, tear tracks already forming on his face as he clutched at his chest.

 

He wept silently.


	2. Regret

It started oddly. One night he dreamt of the time they saved New York (and in conjunction, the world) from Loki. He's helping the civilians in the memory-dream but there's a young boy there, only six or seven, who just stood there staring at him with blank eyes. He rushed away from the bus and to the boy, trying to pull him away from the dangers of the Chitauri but the boy refused to move until Clint tossed him over his shoulder and hauled him to safety. 

"You could have gotten hurt!" He hollered at the child over the commotion in the streets of Manhattan as he ran around cars and terrified people. "Stay with everyone else!" He commanded as he set the boy on the ground, his green and black outfit rumpled.

The child frowned at him, "But I want to watch them. I want to watch you." There's an indignant tone to his voice, and a sudden spark in his eyes that hadn't been there before. It's evident to Clint that the boy would do exactly what he wanted, advice from elders be damned.

"No, you're staying here where you won't get hurt. I don't need you distracting me when I'm busy trying to kill those bastards." The boy looked hurt for a few seconds before shifting to a more neutral expression.

"Fine, I'll stay here. It's not worth the risk anyways." He replied quickly, making Clint grin and reach over to ruffle jet-black hair.

"Stay put, kiddo." He told the boy as he swatted at Clint's hand. He took off running back to his team.

* * *

  
It wasn't until after he woke up that he realized why the boy had seemed so familiar.

It was Loki. It had to be. Clint doubted that the demi-god was actually causing him to see Loki as a child in his memories; after he rejected Loki in no uncertain terms a year ago, he hadn't seen as much as a glimpse of the Jotun.

Still, he asked Thor the next morning if Asgard had reported any suspicious behavior on Loki's part.

Thor had frowned over his nth cup of coffee, obviously deep in thought over the subject. "Not since a year ago, my friend. Why do you ask? Has he shown himself to you again?"  
Clint had told him about the exchange between Thor's brother and himself, but made it clear that the conversation posed no threat to any planet. Thor had been confused, but readily accepted Clint's word and didn't mention anything to Odin on his next trip to Asgard.

"No, he hasn't. Don't think he will, actually." Clint said nonchalantly as he speared a piece of bacon on his plate. "Just had a weird dream last night and I was wondering if maybe he'd had something to do with it." Thor's face went from lightly concerned to troubled in .05 seconds. Clint rolled his eyes. "Relax; nothing bad happened. It's probably just my mind finally losing a few screws, Thor."

"If you're certain, Clint. I'll ask Odin next time, just to be sure." Thor finished off his cup of coffee and automatically made his way to the coffee pot again.

* * *

  
The next odd dream happened almost a week later. His eyes were still closed as he heard the loud scream of "Tell me!" He could feel all of the fear, anger, bitterness, and pain in the words. He opened his eyes and watched from the side as Loki's face distorted, the pain in his eyes growing. He wondered if Loki could see him this time. After Odin had fallen and the guards had left, Loki sat down on the steps, his face in his hands.

"So this is why you're so mentally screwy." Loki's head snapped up. His face had reddened, the anger, confusion, and despair so clear on his face.

"You... I remember you." Loki's voice shook and his brows drew close as he struggled to remember when he'd seen the man. "It was in a dream though... You are not Aesir. Who are you? What do you want of Loki?"

Clint stepped out of the small alcove and towards the god of mischief. "Are you dreaming right now?" He ignored Loki's questions.

Loki snorted. "Hardly. Now answer my questions."

Clint's suspicion of magic being the root of their problems was confirmed. It still wasn't obvious as to why he was being shown these different version of Loki though. He'd talk to Stark and Thor once he woke up.

"We know each other in the future. Your future, I mean. And I don't want anything aside from these dreams to stop."

Loki eyed him with suspicion, the ruddiness of his cheeks and eyes finally starting to fade. "You don't want anything from me?" Clint shook his head. "And you did not choose to come here?"

"Nope." He sat down next to Loki, squirming until he was comfortable on the hard cold stairs. "We're not friendly in the future."

His smile small and forlorn, Loki said, "I presume that is due to something I've done - will do - to you." Clint nodded. His smile turned into bitter grimace. "Then I apologize."

Clint looked away from the Jotun as he opened his mouth to speak. "It doesn't change what you'll do, Loki. I'd ask you to not do it, but I get the feeling that it wouldn't work. Or it'd create some weird paradox thing, and I really don't feel like dealing with that crap any time soon."

Loki laughed quietly. "You seem like a good Midgardian. Here you are, seated with an enemy and yet you only talk politely."

Clint shrugged as he looked over at Loki again. "You're not what you become. Not yet. So I don't really have any reason to be pissed off with you."

"But don't you? I may not know what I've done in the future, but I will become that monster that you so hate." Clint watched carefully as the god balled his hands into fists, his arms flexing as his jaw squared.

"What good would it do?" Clint asked simply. There was no point in punishing someone that hadn't yet committed the crime. Sure, Loki was still going to try to take over the world, but he already knew it wouldn't work. He would lose and be locked away. Clint's rejection seemed to be a harsh enough punishment for what had happened between them.

"You would get closure, would you not? You would find comfort in hurting me, correct?" Loki seized Clint arms, squeezing it and digging short nails into flesh. Clint hissed and shook his head. "Why not? If I were in your place, I would surely do so." Loki demanded, moving closer to Clint as he pulled the mortal closer. His pupils were wide with expectation, with what seemed to be a hope that Clint would actually try to harm him.

"Listen, if you don't let me go, I actually will hit you." Loki just dug in nails more. Okay, so Loki was this psychotic. Great. "Loki, let me go." He said calmly, trying to diffuse the situation before something in Loki snapped. Loki looked away, his nails digging into the archer's skin more. Clint resisted the urge to break his wrist. "Let me go, Loki." When the other made no move to do so, he reached over with his other hand and began prying the fingers off of him. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're not what hurt me." He placed Loki's hand back on the god's knee. "I've already hurt your future self. So I'm not gonna hurt you. Stop trying to punish yourself ahead of time."

Loki frowned, his brows drawing close once again. "You confuse me, mortal. But I like you. You're interesting." His voice was quiet. "I am sorry."

Clint nodded. "Yeah." If things had been different, they could've been friends. They sat in silence until Clint disappeared.

* * *

  
The next morning Clint woke up exhausted. He laid in bed for ten minutes before he finally got up and straggled to the shower. He turned the handle until the water ran cold.  
He stripped out of his boxers and stepped into the chilled water, goosebumps slowly forming on the surface of his skin as he remained still under the water. As he began to wash his hair, Clint reflected on the events of the dream. Loki had known him before he had possessed him. He was willing to bet that they'd meet more than those two times before (after?) they met at the SHIELD base. This timeline crap was starting to get complicated. All Clint wanted was for some peace and to not have to worry about seeing Loki in his dreams.

He scrubbed himself clean within minutes. After plenty of missions where bathing ended up as a distraction, Clint had learned to spend as little time as he could in the shower. But today he lingered, letting the water run over him for a few extra minutes before he felt it ridiculous to try to keep relaxing. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel before he heard his Avengers card beeping from his bedroom. With a groan, the archer dried off as quickly as he could before going to suit up.  
It was going to be a long day.

* * *

  
It turns out that fighting off a giant man-eating blob of goo was just as hard as it looked in the movie. It was even worse in New York City, where it seemed people still hadn't grasped the concept of running and taking cover from giant blobs that are absorbing everything in their path. Half the time they were out, the team was stuck trying to get the people away from the damned jelly-like blob.  
"Someone explain to me how it's hard for people to outrun goo." Tony demanded when they finally got back in the tower. Little pieces of the sentient goo were stuck to the armor. "And someone get me ice to freeze this stuff with before it goes through the suit. Hulk, buddy, you okay?"

The Hulk nodded, though he was still grimacing. "Goo hurt Hulk."

Hulk had been the first to rush out at the goo and although the others had quickly realized that it was vulnerable to the cold, it had still done some damage to their friend. Some of the skin on his fists, arms, and feet had been absorbed by the goo, prompting him to focus on getting people out of danger instead of fighting.

"We know. Could you let Bruce come back so we can help you two?" Steve sighed as he pulled the cowl off and flopped unceremoniously onto the couch. He and Natasha had spent a good portion of the fight – if it could actually be called that – running around to help civilians and to collect fire extinguishers to spray at the Hulk before spraying it at the giant glob still slowly spreading over the city. 

As the Hulk shrank back down into Bruce, Clint plopped onto the couch. 

"I'm not moving and no one is to attempt to move me up before five or I'll sprain their wrist." He grumbled as he removed his shoes and curled up on the couch. Despite his warning, Natasha poked and prodded at him until there was enough room for her to lay down as well. Her feet were next to Clint's face and he knew she would kick him if he said anything. With a sigh, he turned to press his face into the arm of the couch. The last thing he heard before he drifted off was Tony babbling to Bruce as they headed off to the lab.

* * *

When he woke up, he was surprised to find himself alone and the sun setting. Clint wasn't one for napping for long periods of time, and Nat didn't usually leave him alone afterwards. He shrugged it off; he'd always see her later.

Usually around this time, the others were usually off in their rooms before they headed to the kitchen to cook and banter. As he sat up and stretched, he remembered that he'd been planning to talk to Thor and Tony. Seeing as Thor was currently off visiting Jane, Tony would have to do for now. Clint grabbed his shoes and made his way to his bedroom before he went down to the lab, using the access codes Tony had given all the Avengers. Inside, Tony was poking at goo in abox.

"You not seriously messing with that stuff, are you Stark? You realized that it started eating its way through the suit, right?"

  
The scientist responded without missing a beat or turning around. "And the only way I can make sure that it won't do that again is if I study it right now, birdboy. Just in case we ever square off against sentient jelly again. Which I hope really never happens ever." He closed the box and turned around to face his teammate. "Did Cap send you down here to bitch at me for missing dinner again?"

Clint shook his head. "Nope. I don't think they've started cooking yet. I came to ask a question actually."

"If it has anything to do with anything Fury wants, then the answer is no." Tony turned back to the box to try zapping the goo with a small electric prod.

Clint snorted. "It's not that. I was wondering if you could tell me all the magic users you know that may have something against us or Loki." Best to get everything over with.

Tony huffed with a frown as goo barely reacted to the electricity. "Maybe a higher voltage... That's pretty much every magician out there. Why the concern about Loki?" He asked, closing the box again. He turned back to Clint, his full attention going to the archer, one eyebrow raising subtly. Clint knew it wasn't a test, that Tony was simply curious, but he couldn't help but feel his skin crawl.

For weeks after the attack on Manhattan, Clint had been viewed with suspicion. Less so by the other Avengers than by other SHIELD agents. People maintained their distance whenever he walked by in the hallways. Normally he wouldn't think anything of it, but he could feel their stares; he could see their quick glances down whenever he made eye contact with them. They were afraid of him. No, they were afraid of Loki's influence over him. It wasn't his fault, Clint had to keep reminding himself. He couldn't do anything to fight back. He was stuck deep down inside while his body struck down his coworkers, destroyed tentative acquaintanceships in the making.

He looked Tony straight in the eyes and watched his expression change from curious nonchalance to intrigued perplexity as he explained what had been happening.

"Well, that's definitely odd. You sure Loki's not behind this? Granted it doesn't sound like his M.O., but people change when they're locked up." They both tried to not think about that too hard.

Clint shook his head. "I'm sure it's not him. It just wouldn't make any sense. Why would he be showing me his memories and dreams?"

"He's crazy, for starters. And maybe he wants you to like him more? Pity him or something?"

That almost made sense to Clint. He was definitely going to talk to Thor about the possibility of sending a note with him to Loki next time he visited Asgard. A nice little note that simply said "Fuck you, I still hate you."

For now, he'd have to wait and hope that the dreams stopped. "His childhood won't make up for all those people he made me kill." Clint muttered as he tried to resist the urge to hit something. Loki probably would go for a pity play. Manipulative bastard. "We should head up before Cap comes and yells at us."

Tony grinned. "You go ahead; it's fun to watch him get angry."

"Whatever, Tony. You're the only one that'd enjoy having him yell at you." Clint smiled as he turned to leave. It didn't feel completely right on his face as he left, but it was better than before.

"What can I say – he's adorable when he tries to be stern." Tony laughed. "I'll have that list for you tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this chapter on and off since November. I was originally going to have it be longer, but I figured this was a good place to end this one. :) Many thanks to kopious.tumblr.com for motivating me to work more on this!


	3. Readjusting

He sensed someone else beside him before looking over. They were both dangling there, the beauty of the Bifrost above them as Thor literally tried to talk him back from the ledge.

 

They were both fools for thinking Odin would improve the situation. He was a fool for thinking that Odin actually was still his father. Thor was a fool for thinking that he had actually planned on the disgrace of suicide. No, Loki had plans. Granted, they were supposed to be for after he was established as a hero and the righteous leader of Asgard, but Loki figured there was no harm in following through with them first.

 

He had underestimated Thor. He cursed himself for that. If the stupid Odinson hadn't butted in, if Heimdall hadn't betrayed him, all would have gone according to plan. He wouldn't be here, drifting down into space while cursing himself for his failure.

 

At least his plan could work as a back-up. Oh, but how upset they'd be to learn that Loki was not a king as he'd promised to be, but only one that the realms thought was dead. He was the woman sawed in half in front of the audience by the magician. In time, he'd pull away the curtain and reveal himself to everyone's surprise. He'd be stronger, he'd have allies. He would make them bow down and worship him.

 

But for now, he'd have to wait until he'd made it to the Chitauri again. 

 

"You're here again." He finally acknowledged the one floating next to him. It was the archer, of course. Who else would visit Loki as he drifted into space? "It's rude to not greet others when you arrive." He turned so that the human was in front of him and crossed his arms across his chest. It still ached from Thor's hammer.

 

"You planned this." Unsurprised disbelief painted the man's eyes, the words themselves monotone. Loki had been hoping for something more cordial. He didn't want to be reminded of his failure.

 

"Yes. What of it?" Technically, it was only partially a lie. He had planned to leave at some point, yes? Was a faux-suicide part of said plan? No. Ah, well, he'd rather have the human believe that he was superior, than to sheepishly admit that it was an accident.

 

"Thor thinks you just killed yourself." Loki just blinked, as if listening to the tale of a five year old. "You're perfectly fine with letting him think that he couldn't stop you from committing suicide. You don't feel any guilt at all."

 

He didn't understand. The human had only met his brother once. Unless... Oh, damn. They met again in Loki's future. They were close. How irritating. He'd have to make sure it didn't happen when he took over. He liked this mortal. He wouldn't let him be Thor's.

 

"Why should I?"

 

And that's when the mortal dared to hit him. His fist connected with Loki's nose hard enough to draw blood from the wound. The red droplets were slowed, some of them rolling down Loki's nose, some of them not sticking to his skin and floating up above them. Once the initial pain subsided, Loki glared at him. "Thor's the only one that cares for you. He's always cared for you and he cares for you even after this. Even during the time I'm from, he doesn't let us talk shit about you."

 

"So what?" The prince's shoulders raised. "Is that supposed to change how I feel for him? Do not think that I will be so easily swayed, mortal. The fact that he continues to care is nothing to me. I am not his brother and he is nothing to me." He growled. "Now leave." He won't admit to himself that a part of him is pleased that the short human is able to surprise him, that he isn't afraid of the god in front of him. However, that didn't change the overwhelming self pride and anger.

 

"...I can't actually." The human admitted, only reaffirming that which Loki had known. Someone (or something - Loki had met many powerful creatures in his time) else was in control of this. They were mere puppets, coming and going against their will. He would have to find whatever was doing this and learn from them how to use magic in such a way. He was such a greedy and curious mage after all.

 

"Well, I suggest you try." The god wiped at his nose, barely wincing as he touched sensitive nerve endings. "If you can appear here, then you can disappear. Loki has seen you do it. Now go."

 

As the human in front of him forced himself to relax and close his eyes, he healed his nose. The man's lips twitched up into a small smile, stirring Loki's curiosity.

 

"What are you thinking of?" Loki's voice cut through the human's attempt to will himself away. He was still irritated, but his rage was fading. He wanted to know more about the man.

 

"A friend of mine." The archer moved to sit and cross his legs and Loki followed suit. It was going to be some time before they landed.

 

"Tell me about them." Clint shook his head. "Why not?"

 

"You get to learn all about my friends in the future. You'll know more than I'm comfortable ever saying about them again." A raised eyebrow challenged him. "You know how I said we aren't friendly? It's a little more than that. You try to get me to kill my best friend. Then we get some other people and we kick your ass." He didn't exactly like the sound of that, but it brought a mischievous glint to the man's eyes.

 

"Why tell Loki this? Are you not afraid that I will change my plans and succeed due to your warnings?" He prodded, hoping that the archer would slip up and tell him more. He needed to know he would (had?) failed. He didn't want to make the mistakes he would make without guidance.

 

The human laughed. "I didn't tell you any of the specifics, so you have no idea what you do from now on. You could do something completely different, or the exact same." He shrugged at the god. "We'll still beat you though." Damn. He had underestimated this one as well.

 

He looked the mortal up and down. His eyes were hard and analytical; the man squirmed beneath his gaze. "You are interesting. I look forward to figuring you out." He murmured with a predatory grin. 

 

Oh, that struck a nerve. The man tensed, his arms flexing as he tried to suppress memories. Loki watched him shudder. His face screwed up in discomfort, causing Loki's pulse to quicken. He'd left an impact on this man. 

 

Loki watched his face and demeanor change with pleasure and curiosity. "You fear Loki."

 

"No." It's sharp and quick. Loki resisted the urge to smile. So the archer did fear him. "I don't fear you, I hate you." Did he really think he could fool the god of lies?

 

A pity play is always fun though. He pouted, doing his best to look sad. "I thought you didn't hate me yet."

 

"You know what I meant. So stop pretending to be upset. 'Sides, you just hurt one of my friends. I'm allowed to pissed at you for that." Loki snorted.

 

"I do not care about that." He waved it off as something trivial, only infuriating the archer further. "Now tell me about you. You know Loki, but I don't even know your name yet."

 

The human shrugged. "You find out plenty about me later. My name's Clint Barton though." Well, at least Loki had something to sate his curiosity for now. 

 

They still had time. "Have you figured out why we've been meeting like this?" Loki questioned. 

 

Clint shook his head, his short hairs going all over the place with the movement. "I have a list of magic users that probably have out for me, so I'm starting with that tomorrow." He sighed. "It's probably a long list though, so don't be surprised if I show up again."

 

"I enjoy your visits." Loki let out before he even realized what he was saying. "I'm not used to finding out about things slowly. I'll spend time researching things, yes, but to be halted when interested is not within my nature. Not many consider to do this with Loki." The human looked uncomfortable again. It was a small tensing in the arms ( _he longs for his bow_ , Loki thought) and a widening of the pupils, but the man - _Clint_ , the name sounds nice in his head - refuses to let it fully grasp him, not like before.

 

Clint muttered something in response, but Loki decided to not ask for him to repeat himself. 

 

They both stayed quiet for some time. Clint observed the space around him as Loki primped and preened himself before his meeting. At least he could give the impression of pride and victory before he opened his mouth.

 

"You should leave." He suggested as he spotted a familiar rock below them. But the archer is already gone.

 

Loki uncrossed his legs and forces himself to descend faster. At least the man will not fall victim to the wretched filth that was the Chitauri.

* * *

As memories shift to the surface, he shivered. The next part, what had happened to him afterwards, it hadn't been pleasant. As Loki had predicted, the Chitauri had not been forgiving when they found out that the lost prince had indeed lost.

 

He refused to think of how long he'd spent chained to a wall in a cave before they even considered his suggestion of Midgard.

 

He could detest the royal family of Asgard until his long life ended, but he would never deny that he was thankful for the amenities they granted him. At least here he had food and was not subjected to torture. He shuddered again, regret coming over him.

 

He had been foolish. He shouldn't have dismissed Cl- Hawkeye's (it still stung to think of the archer like this) warning so quickly. He should have just accepted that the mortal knew better, and gone back to Asgard to ask for forgiveness. But, no. He had decided that the mortal knew not the power of Loki, that Loki would do better than he had in front of the human.

 

The only good that had come from the whole fiasco was meeting the archer and momentarily taking him as Loki's, but even that had come to a painful end.

 

It wasn't Loki that influenced Hawkeye's dreams, and even now, he still had no idea what was drawing them together. He'd never admitted to Hawkeye that he'd been sent to his past too, that he'd watched from the distant as a father hurt his children. When he'd tried to rush in to help, he'd woken with a horribly upset stomach. It seemed whatever was bringing them together was telling him that he had had his chance to interact and he must now content himself to watching. 

 

Perhaps he could ask one of the guards if he could have a list of magic users known to the nine realms. If he could aid the archer in any way, he would try his best. The human didn't need to be troubled with seeing Loki anymore, and as far as he remembered, the next time they meet was when he came for the Tesseract.

 

"Brother?"

 

Of course. The ever constant thorn in his side had returned.

 

"What is it that you want, Thor? If you're here to make pitiable faces at me again, I'd prefer for you to leave me to my books."

 

"Loki..." Thor paused, seemingly uncertain about how to say what was on his mind. "Have you been dreaming?"

 

"I assume you're talking about something specific. Stop being vague and get to the point. It's not like we have an eternity - oh wait, we do." Thor frowned at that. "Unless they have set an execution date for me?"

 

"Stop trying to change the subject, broth-"

 

"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!" He screamed, his fists colliding with floor of the cave. "I never have been an Odinson, and I never will be. Stop calling me such." He hissed.

 

"Very well. My apologies."

 

The thorn twisted more as Thor refused to met his wrath. "What is it you came here for, Odinson?"

 

"The Eye of the Hawk, Clint" (oh, how it stung that Thor was privileged to be so familiar) "has told me that he has been interacting with your past selves via dreams. Is this true?"

 

"Yes."

 

"And are you doing the same with him?"

 

Green eyes narrowed at the Thunderer. "Can you not ask him that yourself?"

 

"He has been preoccupied with other work. I presumed that you would have known about that."

 

"He made it clear that he wanted me to watch him no longer. I decided to respect that."

 

Thor's eyebrows raised. Loki knew how rare it was for him to respect others, but the archer continued to surprise him, whether it be with his own self, or with discoveries within Loki.

 

"And no, I do not interact with his past self in dreams. I can see them at best, but all attempts to make contact have been failures."

 

"So this is your doing?"

 

Loki rolled his eyes. "Thor, if it was my doing, I would be able to interact with him. No, someone else is doing this. Why, I know naught, but they seem interested in making him influence me. I do not wish for this interference."

 

"But you have an attraction to him? Is your disagreement with the situation due to someone else's interference."

 

He almost told the truth. He almost told Thor that he understood why he felt connected to Jane. He understood that in order for anything to happen, he would have to change. "I do not like others prying into my life. I do not know what they will do next with this power."

 

Thor almost looked disappointed. Loki almost cared. "I see. Very well, that is all, Loki."

 

"Thank you for the lovely company. My apologies for not cleaning up before your arrival." Bitterness and sarcasm filled him as he went to the books he kept. He had been given three, and though he had read them all multiple times in the year he'd been there, he found he preferred it to Thor's company.

 

"I believe he might forgive you, brot- Loki."

 

"You have too much misguided hope. I do not seek his forgiveness."

 

"And he has heart. The heart forgives, Loki."

 

"Ah, but how it can hold on to hatred til the end of its days." Silence. "Leave, Thor. I do not know what you want of me, but you will not find it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'd like to apologize for how long it took for me to get this up. For the longest time, I was unable to work on it, all inspiration dead. Life got in the way and left. Things complicated and uncomplicated and for quite some time I was having issues adjusting. This in no way excuses me for abandoning this. I hope to update more on a routine and plan to work on this a little everyday.
> 
> Second, so much disappointment at the complete lack of Hawkeye in Thor 2 (actually, a lot of disappointment in Thor 2 in general, but shhh, Hawkeye's the focus here). That being said, this will not adhere to the events of Thor 2. Some of the same events may happen, but since I originally started this before Thor 2 came out, it'll be sticking to my timeline and my ideas, not those of MCU.


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